The rays of sun filtered through the towering pines as I ambled my way down the hidden access road near my home, nestled in the heart of the national forest. All was calm and peaceful, and I enjoyed the twittering birds and scampering squirrels. As I deeply inhaled the warm, pine-scented air, the peacefulness was broken by the ringing of my cell phone. I pulled it from my pocket, and heard exactly what I hoped I would never hear.
As I hung up, my doctor’s words echoed in my mind: “Its cancer.” I know she said more, but it was a blur. I made my 
to a nearby log, and sat numbly, trying to process what I had just learned. The birds still sang. The breeze still blew. But my world had suddenly changed. “Cancer”, I thought. “OK, I’ve got cancer. Now what, God? I know You are in control.”
Thus began the long journey of faith and trust. I had gone in for my regular mammogram, and it had come out fine. Still, due to my family history, my doctor wanted me to see a specialist. God went before me and had her recommend an MRI to have as a baseline, in case future problems arose. That was when the cancer was discovered.
After further doctor trips, tests, tears, and much prayer, a lumpectomy was ruled out. The best course of action was to remove the breast entirely. Though only one breast was cancerous, I knew that it was most likely just a matter of time, and would be a constant concern. Thus, the final plan was made: I would have a double mastectomy.
Although I can’t say it was easy, all through this process, God gave me an amazing, underlying peace. I did not have any special promise or insight of what the final outcome would be, but He flooded me with His presence and calm. He also surrounded me with a group of cancer survivors and other dear people who could help me navigate this new territory. It was like they came out of the woodwork, from nowhere, just when I needed them! I was amazed, and so grateful.
As the time came near, I had to go in to have dye injected before the surgery was to be done. My doctor had warned me that this was a very painful procedure. Needless to say, I was not looking forward to it, but once again, God went before me. As I laid there on the cold metal table, I sensed His calm. It wasn’t a fun experience by any means, but it was certainly bearable, and I was even able to distract myself by chatting with the technician who was holding my hand. Once the dye was in, the other technician wheeled me to the imaging center. As he was setting up the equipment, he asked me, “How did you do that? You were so calm and peaceful? Usually people scream.” That’s when I was able to share with him about my faithful and mighty God. And that was the first time I was able to truly see my cancer as a gift, an opportunity to bring God glory.
Next on the docket was the surgery itself. Again, God gave me supernatural peace! Beloved friends gathered around, showered me with love, and prayed before and during the surgery. All went well! Even my employer bent over backwards, saying they would cover my workload for as long as I needed it. I truly felt blessed.
After a time of recovery at home, it was on to my oncologist. As it turned out, in my particular case, radiation was not appropriate. As far as chemotherapy, my chance of reoccurrence was the same with or without it. So, I chose “no chemo”, but went with a regiment of medication and blood tests, to be done over the next five years.
After my surgery, as normalcy began to return to my life, I started to see new ways that God had used my experience for His purposes. People at work commented on how “gracefully” I handled the situation, and I was able to assure them there wasn’t anything special about “me”, but that God had given supernatural peace. (See John 14:27) He got the glory, which is exactly where it was due!
As I have already stated, my cancer was the gift I never wanted. But it is the one that God gave, and He used it for both His glory and my good. People, who already knew Him, were encouraged. People, who did not know Him, couldn’t help but wonder and perhaps be drawn. And my own faith and walk with Him grew immeasurably through this “gift.”
Eventually, as more time went by, I was able to come along side others going through the same things I had experienced. It says in 2 Corinthians 1:4, that God comforts us in all our troubles, “so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” And that is truly a gift as well.
What About You?
Has He given a “gift” that you don’t want? In these difficult times, we shed some tears, but ultimately we have to pray and trust Him. Usually the proper question to ask is not “Why?” but rather, “Now what?” We often can’t understand what God is doing in our lives (See Isaiah 55:8-9), but we can ask Him how He wants us to respond to the circumstances we find ourselves in. Then we need to be obedient, and wait and see what He will do. His Word says that in all things, He “works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (See Romans 8:28) Has He called you? Do you belong to Him? Then trust Him today to keep that promise! Remember: All His promises are “Yes!” and “Amen!”
to a nearby log, and sat numbly, trying to process what I had just learned. The birds still sang. The breeze still blew. But my world had suddenly changed. “Cancer”, I thought. “OK, I’ve got cancer. Now what, God? I know You are in control.”
Thus began the long journey of faith and trust. I had gone in for my regular mammogram, and it had come out fine. Still, due to my family history, my doctor wanted me to see a specialist. God went before me and had her recommend an MRI to have as a baseline, in case future problems arose. That was when the cancer was discovered.
After further doctor trips, tests, tears, and much prayer, a lumpectomy was ruled out. The best course of action was to remove the breast entirely. Though only one breast was cancerous, I knew that it was most likely just a matter of time, and would be a constant concern. Thus, the final plan was made: I would have a double mastectomy.
Although I can’t say it was easy, all through this process, God gave me an amazing, underlying peace. I did not have any special promise or insight of what the final outcome would be, but He flooded me with His presence and calm. He also surrounded me with a group of cancer survivors and other dear people who could help me navigate this new territory. It was like they came out of the woodwork, from nowhere, just when I needed them! I was amazed, and so grateful.
As the time came near, I had to go in to have dye injected before the surgery was to be done. My doctor had warned me that this was a very painful procedure. Needless to say, I was not looking forward to it, but once again, God went before me. As I laid there on the cold metal table, I sensed His calm. It wasn’t a fun experience by any means, but it was certainly bearable, and I was even able to distract myself by chatting with the technician who was holding my hand. Once the dye was in, the other technician wheeled me to the imaging center. As he was setting up the equipment, he asked me, “How did you do that? You were so calm and peaceful? Usually people scream.” That’s when I was able to share with him about my faithful and mighty God. And that was the first time I was able to truly see my cancer as a gift, an opportunity to bring God glory.
Next on the docket was the surgery itself. Again, God gave me supernatural peace! Beloved friends gathered around, showered me with love, and prayed before and during the surgery. All went well! Even my employer bent over backwards, saying they would cover my workload for as long as I needed it. I truly felt blessed.
After a time of recovery at home, it was on to my oncologist. As it turned out, in my particular case, radiation was not appropriate. As far as chemotherapy, my chance of reoccurrence was the same with or without it. So, I chose “no chemo”, but went with a regiment of medication and blood tests, to be done over the next five years.
After my surgery, as normalcy began to return to my life, I started to see new ways that God had used my experience for His purposes. People at work commented on how “gracefully” I handled the situation, and I was able to assure them there wasn’t anything special about “me”, but that God had given supernatural peace. (See John 14:27) He got the glory, which is exactly where it was due!
As I have already stated, my cancer was the gift I never wanted. But it is the one that God gave, and He used it for both His glory and my good. People, who already knew Him, were encouraged. People, who did not know Him, couldn’t help but wonder and perhaps be drawn. And my own faith and walk with Him grew immeasurably through this “gift.”
Eventually, as more time went by, I was able to come along side others going through the same things I had experienced. It says in 2 Corinthians 1:4, that God comforts us in all our troubles, “so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” And that is truly a gift as well.
What About You?
Has He given a “gift” that you don’t want? In these difficult times, we shed some tears, but ultimately we have to pray and trust Him. Usually the proper question to ask is not “Why?” but rather, “Now what?” We often can’t understand what God is doing in our lives (See Isaiah 55:8-9), but we can ask Him how He wants us to respond to the circumstances we find ourselves in. Then we need to be obedient, and wait and see what He will do. His Word says that in all things, He “works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (See Romans 8:28) Has He called you? Do you belong to Him? Then trust Him today to keep that promise! Remember: All His promises are “Yes!” and “Amen!”
3 Responses
My broken arm has helped me change so much for the better. Patience and faith definitely got me through. I am still about 8 months from complete healing but I am so much better and God answered so many prayers during this past year. As my arm regains strength, I know that inside me is much stronger than I thought possible. Even my physician was surprised about my progress. And my Physical Therapist graduated me a few months early. God is good no matter what! As my arm healed, so did so many small little breaks inside me. So glad I broke my arm.
Thank you for sharing your story Joan. It is so good to hear how God works in our painful circumstances. Praying for your continued healing and joy.
Kim
Your story has humbled me. How beautiful God works in our lives, even in the uncomfortable things we don’t understand. You are such a blessing to me Kim!